I just pynch a tree in the face
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
