weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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