He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
