it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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