ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
