____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
