its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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