you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
