Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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