Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
