good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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