I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
