I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
