How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
