Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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