gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize