He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize