There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
