So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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