oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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