So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
