wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize