her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have fence marks all over my body
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
