I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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