It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
