2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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