I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
