I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
