I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
