Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
