its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
