look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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