Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
