i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
