Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
