My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
