Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize