Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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