He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
