I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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