First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize