My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
