If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dicks are not precious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
