tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was like eating out sand paper
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
