I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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