Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Two words: nipple clamps
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