I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
