i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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