if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize