At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
