I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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