Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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