I cockslap morals
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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