im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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