we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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