Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
