I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
