He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if i died would you start the facebook group?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
