he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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