This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
