Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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