I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
