I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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