I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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