Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
