Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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