I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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