Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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