I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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