What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
