also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
