we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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