I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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